Dead Men Don’t Wear Jogging Sneakers

I'm accessing an outside record on a Veteran.  As his chart loads there is a note:

Patient died on Mar **, 2009, do you want to continue?

Yes, I do.  So I enter the necessary data in the required fields.  Then the chart gives me a note:

Patient is ineligible to travel.

You think?  Maybe with a court order?

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

You know you’re from Erie when…

• You take your girl friend to the public dock to make out
• The words 'to be' are not used in sentence structure, e.g., the Car needs washed or the grass needs mowed
• Been bar-hopping, visited 32 bars and never left the block
• Think it's normal for the citizen to pizza shop ratio to be 4:1
• Know what a davenport is
• You think going to NorthEast is a long drive
• You know that NorthEast is in the Northwest corner of the state
• "Pop" has everything to do with beverages and nothing to do with your Dad
• You have three choices - Browns, Bills or Steelers that's it.
• It's completely normal to see people you've known since kindergarten every weekend
• Perch is on the menu
• You think greek sauce and pepperoni balls are available everywhere
• You keep an ice scrapper in your car for 10 months out of the year, because you never know
• You've heard "it's a horse apiece" and know what it means
• Two feet of snow does not mean a snow day
• There are drive-through beer distributors in your neighborhood
• You find zero degrees "a bit chilly"
• You don't care to go to the Peninsula, but 100,000 people from Pittsburgh do
• Peach jam refers to traffic problems
• You know several people who have hit at least six deer with their car
• Vacation means going south past Pittsburgh for the weekend
• You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them
• Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow
• You measure distance in hours
• You know all four seasons as: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction
• Otters are a hockey team and the Seawolves play baseball
• When choosing a pumpkin for Halloween, you often have to dig through snow to find one
• Every time you hear "Carol of the Bells" you start singing "Star Mobile Home, Star Mobile Home..."
• You know all the lyrics to the "Brandel Painting" jingle
• "80s hair" isn't a thing of the past

• It wouldn't be summer, it wouldn't be fun without ice Cream from Sara's
• Your weekend plans include a stag and drag and a diaper party
• You've ever bought a beer for a quarter
• You really DID walk uphill, both ways in two feet of snow to school every day
• A register is something that heat comes out of
• You've yelled at your kids to go red up their rooms- NOW!
• You go to a beach and comment on the "good" sand
• You've ever gone to a "prep dance"
• You've been to a "Save-An-Eye"game
• You remember the Pop Man at Jerry Uht Park
• Going 30 mph is speeding
• If it's not a Smith dog, you don't want it.
• You know what Ox Roast is
• You know it is your lucky day when you get all of the green lights on West 12th St
• You know what sponge candy is
• When you eat out, you get a side of ranch dressing for your french fries
• You've tried to leave and Erie just keeps sucking you back in