One Weird Old Trick

I have been inundated with these stupid, stupid ads. I can’t take it anymore. It has hit the level of absurd. Daily I have to hear about someone in ERIE (yes, they use targeted advertising and know where my DNS pings) who has discovered a weird old trick to do something fantastic. Supposedly, I can use this old tip, which, by the way, is weird, to do the same. Often these ads are accompanied by the most ridiculous pictures you’ve ever seen.

Allegedly this weird old trick was discovered by a single mom…a paraplegic soldier…an unemployed first responder…or any other sympathetic character. The hope is that you are simply consumed with curiosity to know what the heck is that ONE weird secret. This urge is further augmented by the noted fact that the powers that be don't want you to know.  These are the one percenters keeping the 99% down. Michael Moore is doing a documentary on it. They don't want the masses to know how easy it is to:

·         Increase muscle mass

·         Increase breast size (absurd photo accompanies this)

·         Enlarge a male member 

·         Lose weight or spot reduce an area, usually belly fat

·         Pay your mortgage off in a fraction of the time (bankers don’t want you to know this weird old trick)

·         Brighten teeth (dentists hate the person who discovered this weird old trick)

·         Clear up acne (dermatologists hate the person who discovered this weird old trick)

·         Pay pennies for car insurance

·         Go back to school for free (one weird old trick?)

·         Beat a traffic ticket (police don’t want you to know about this weird old trick)

·         Get out of a DUI.

·         Make your own electricity at home (utilities companies don’t want you to know about this weird old trick)

·         Etc, etc, etc…

If you click on the ad you will be taken to a fake blog (flog) or a fake article (farticle) where the hard sell really begins. You may even be sold real products – acai berries, for example – but they will not spot reduce belly fat or enlarge a sex organ.

I wish there was a weird old trick to make these ads go away! Evidently they have discovered one wierd old trick for driving gullible traffic to their websites.