It's a Sure Thing

How do you know you will have unexpected company?

Your four year old has been begging to take a bath for the past hour.  But it's dinnertime and you don't have the time to get him in the tub.  Refusing to be discouraged he decides he will help things along.  He dances into the living room completely buck naked and ready to go.

What do you think the next moment will bring?  That's right.  The doorbell rings.  And he runs off to see who's there.

Is anybody else's life like this?

Danger! We have just entered a parallel universe.

Christina Romer, who chairs the Council of Economic Advisers, lauded the stimulus law's impact. "If Republicans want to debate me on whether tax cuts have an impact, I'd be very happy to have that debate," she said. "We think they absolutely have been effective."

(White House: Stimulus showered billions on taxpayers By Richard Wolf, USA TODAY)

The Amazing Human Mind – Example 2

An oldie but a goodie. It still fascinates me.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?

yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt

Washington, D.C.

The Kids at the Jefferson Memorial

My sister is the most annoying person in the world.  That is an actual fact. You can look it up.  Her most annoying characteristic (and actually her only one) is her inability to take no for an answer.  So when she started bugging me and my family, with a persistence that would make a bill collecter blush, for a visit to her house - eventually we had to give in.  C'mon Cristy, you've only lived in Virginia for two years now.  Give us a chance. 

So the cream puffs that make up this branch of the tribe, gave in and went to Stafford for spring break.  Most of them did.  I had to stay home and deal with AH/AJ modifiers and make recissions to expired MCMs because of an upcoming OIG visit.  If you don't understand that, don't fret, neither do I.  And if you do, well, I feel for you.  Josh didn't go either.  He had an intimate evening planned with Carrie Underwood;  just him, her, and about 6000 other adoring fans down in Pittsburgh. 

So Mama Creampuff loaded up the little pastries and headed south for the land of the tidewater.  They left late.  Which scared me because I know that Mama C has a tendency to fall asleep as soon as a.) we start the movie, b.) I start to talk about something important to me, or c.) if she is behind the wheel of a vehicle after 8 PM.  But they made it in one piece - she let Stephanie drive.  Personally, I think she just had to see the Cherry Blossoms.  And Jessica wanted to see the High School that Remember the Titans was based on.

Peaceful on the road...

...chaos rules within, AKA, Jessica.

Arlington Cemetery

Michael plays it cool (he says he was being like Steven).

Obamacare - Bill O'Reilly vs. Congressman Anthony Weiner.

The problem with the healthcare debate is the debate.  When you read what is in the bill and actually quote the bill verbatim, the other side claims, oh, that's not true. MSNBC has spent a lot of time "debunking healthcare bill myths" that have been "made up" when the language they claim they are debunking is actually in the bill.  It's amazing the amount of denial and deception exhibited by the left every time flaws in the bill are brought up; that and the typical strawman arguments.  The left are masters of the strawman fallacy.

Nancy Pelosi's approach is actually more honest, heaven help us.  She says we will have to pass the bill to see what's in the bill.  This is actually an honest comment.  Nobody knows what the heck this thing is going to do to us.  But at least admitting she's clueless is a shot of integrity.  She hasn't read the bill, she doesn't know anyone who has, and it will be someone's future doctoral thesis project to even analyze and interpret it. 

Then we have the approach embraced by Anthony Weiner (D-NY9).  Weiner has decided to basically call any uncomfortable (unpopular) aspect in the bill madeup.  His style is to ignore the question and attack the messenger.  This video is a riot.  Bill O'Reilly can be a jerk, but Congressman Weiner takes weinie approach to a whole new level (sorry, I couldn't resist).  Why won't Weiner answer the darn question?  If it is in the law, then why is he evading answering.  Why?  Because Weiner doesn't want to admit what O'Reilly wants him to admit.  So instead he plays the stupid liberal game of deny and attack.  But this silent treatment thing is a brand new approach in politics.  Of course, it's worked in marriage for a longtime.  He takes a shot at it here.  I almost think he expected Bill to send him flowers and chocolate the next day.  This is golden.

US officials: Ex-Gitmo inmate becomes Taliban commander

A man who was released from the U.S. military prison at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, in December has become a senior Taliban military commander in Afghanistan, U.S. officials said.

Abdul Qayum Zakir was named to replace Mullah Abdul Ghani Baradar, whom Pakistani security forces captured last month, a Taliban operative told CNN.

A former Pakistani intelligence official, who asked not to be identified because of the sensitive nature of the subject, also confirmed Zakir's appointment.

Zakir was released from U.S. custody on December 7, U.S. officials said.

Source:  Top Stories, CNN.com

The BO Secretary Has BO

This is a true account of one (and sadly, somewhat typical) morning in my life.

Background knowledge: When you work for the Federal Government, you have to be prepared to use an acronym for any term or title which encompasses more than one word. Sometimes this makes little sense as the acronym is occasionally harder to say than the full term. Sometimes it can end up being a little humorous or even risqué. Recently the VA Medical Center, where I work, had the need to backfill the Business Office Secretary position. Being a government job, the position is commonly known as the BO secretary.

7:31:00 AM – Try to balance piece of toast (breakfast) on top of car keys, bag and coat

7:31:10 AM – Kiss wife goodbye as daughter no. #2 has conniption about daughter no. #1 moving at snail's pace

7:31:20 AM – Discover that car windows have frosted over during the night – can't find scraper

7:31:25 AM – Scrape window with toast. Hey, it's warm; but not for long

7:31:30 AM – Listen to daughter no. #2 complain that she is going to be late

7:31:35 AM – Listen to daughters bicker over leaving late

7:31:36 AM – Wonder why God caused there to be a "teenage period" between cute and adult

7:31:45 AM – Roll down both windows and use wiper fluid to cut through frost for visibility

7:32:00 AM – Pray that nobody is coming fast when we back out onto the road

7:33:00 AM – Pull out onto W. 38^th St. – AKA "aggressive driving zone."

7:33:03 AM – Car stutters and starts to shake

7:33:05 AM – Turn into assisted living home parking lot

7:33:10 AM – Listen to misfiring and pinging of engine

7:33:15 AM – Figure out the vehicle is out of gas

7:33:20 AM – Sure realization that gas station is too far to make it

7:33:23 AM – Sure realization that to stall out on 38^th St is to invite abuse and scorn from fellow travelers

7:33:25 AM – Recollect that there is a gas can in the garage with about a gallon of gas in it.
7:33:26 AM – Recollect that oldest son is not home and has the second car
7:33:27 AM – Vehicle is popping and gasping for petro

7:33:28 AM – Frantic wish to make it as close to home as possible before inevitable

7:33:30 AM – Cross 38^th street into church parking lot
7:33:33 AM – Vehicle dies completely

7:33:40 AM – Start recriminating comments towards teenage daughters who went out in the vehicle the previous night

7:34:25 AM – Point out that they put no fuel in car even though it read less than 1/8 of tank when they took the car
7:34:30 AM – Tell girls that they can either stay in the car until I get back or walk to school
7:34:30½ AM – They opt to stay with the car.  Why walk?
7:35:00 AM – Start to walk down Colonial to house
7:36:00 AM – School Bus blows black smoke at me as it passes

7:40:00 AM – Starting to break a sweat.  Should have left heavy winter coat in car

7:45:00 AM – How far is half a mile anyway?  
7:45:15 AM – Go through front door
7:45:20 AM – In one of life's small miracles, I actually find the gas can and yes, there is gas in it
7:45:45 AM – Start back for car
7:45:50 AM – Catch glances of every driver checking out my gas can trot.  Nobody stops to offer ride
7:45:50 AM – This walk is farther than I thought it was
7:50:00 AM – My legs are starting to feel it, involuntarily start to slow down
7:55:00 AM – One block to go.  Can I just sit here for a minute?
7:56:00 AM – Turn corner and see van rocking back and forth.  Bass sounds trumping out of vehicle

7:57:00 AM – Pour gasoline into gas tank very slowly.  I don't need gasoline stinky shoes for work

7:57:30 AM – I'm wet.  I'm wiping sweat out of my eyes while pouring gasoline.  It's a good life
7:58:00 AM – Turn key to start car.  Nothing.  Try again.  Oh great!  Maybe there wasn't enough gas in the can
7:59:00 AM – Start to worry.  The gas station is another mile in the other direction.  Wonder if anybody would miss me if I walked into traffic
7:59:15 AM – The Fates decide have toyed with me long enough.  The car roars to life.  Off we go
8:01:00 AM – Drop girls off at McDowell
8:01:30 AM – Quickly pump $5 at Country Fair

8:03:00 AM – Zoom onto roadway.  Traffic congestion is lighter.  The 8 AMers are already at work

8:04:00 AM – Absent-mindedly pick up toast and take a big bite
8:04:01 AM – Realize mistake – yuck! Gag on a wet, soggy mess
8:04:05 AM – Wonder if rolling down window and spitting out food is polluting?
8:04:30 AM – Man up and swallow hard
8:06:00 AM – Discover that there are two more 15 mph school zones to traverse after 8 AM
8:10:00 AM – Oh boy!
8:15:00 AM – Consider racing around all traffic at Glenwood Park merge.  It would make me hated but I'm ready for a fight
8:15:30 AM – Consider how getting arrested would go over with supervisors

8:16:00 AM – Crawl up hill behind green pickup blowing black smoke at me.  Have sense of Déjà vu

8:20:00 AM – Pull into parking lot, slam into spot and enter building within 60 seconds
8:22:00 AM – Standing in Darlene's office explaining I'm late.  She's totally bewildered
8:23:00 AM – She gives me 59 minute rule.  No need to dock pay, I'm not habitually late
8:23:15 AM – Really glad that this supervisor never talked to my last supervisor
8:25:00 AM – Arrive at work station.  Colleagues are currently not in; Sheryll gone to meeting, Mike to morning standup
8:26:00 AM – What is that smell?  Oh yeah, that's me

9:00:00 AM – Mike comes back.  We shoot breeze.  I tell him I was 20 late.  He waves it off.  That's fine.  No big deal

9:15:00 AM – Darlene comes in with Sheryll.  Darlene tells Sheryll that she gave me 59 minute (more like 20 minute) rule
9:15:15 AM – Sheryll shrugs.  She didn't even know I wasn't here
9:30:00 AM – HR sends out a new All-employee Message. They are reposting the BO Secretary spot
9:31:00 AM – I sniff my shirt.  BO secretary, huh?  I should make quals.  I may even be overqualified
9:33:00 AM – Wonder what I could qualify for if I ate a big bowl of chili?